Three Cups of Tea

I just recently finished reading this book. I have wanted to read it for years and my mom was kind enough to mail it to me to finally read this fantastic and inspirational book. It resonated with me for several reasons. One of which is that it reminds me, on a much smaller scale, the relationship that I create with my Monte Maria in Tijuana, Mexico. So, I truly believe that the messages contained in its pages are completely accurate and resonate with my own experience.

I think it can be condensed to one word...RELATIONSHIP. You have to first build a mutual relationship of love and care to build anything of lasting value. Money can build many things, but it cannot build a relationship built on trust, respect and honor unless you first invest time....time enough to drink 3 cups of tea. This is the wisdom of the tribal elder leader of Pakistan that changed the author's life and many, many others. The other is extreme hospitality, which is something that I think Mexico and Pakistan/Afghanistan seem to share. It was their willingness to welcome the stranger and eventually embrace him as family that allowed the transformation of so many lives.

Taking time to build relationship, not for personal gain, but for a gain greater than the two people involved, is priceless and with this mountains truly can be moved. It takes a great deal of humility, vulnerability and trust. It is not something to be forced, purchased or lauded. It comes from a much different place. That is why it is a great tragedy that with all the money and goodwill of America, we are failing around the world in places like Afghanistan/Pakistan/Iraq and countless other places we give aid and hope to build a safer world. Peace is safer than war and peace is built on relationships. These relationships are built on the idea that people, all people are worthy of life and that their lives can be enhanced through health and education. They don't need the luxury of the developed world. They just need a helping hand to create water to drink, food to eat, work for their hands and education for their minds. As we can see, woman/girls are the place to start in many of these areas as they are often the exploited, misused and given a chance can transform their world.

As the book reveals, these things are above religious differences. Humanity, basic human decency is above the religious and cultural divides of this world. All peoples want basically the same things for their future. If you give them an open hand to achieve these goals rather than forcing them to be something other than that which they are, one encounters much less resistance. Greg could have been murdered many times or a the very least banished, as some tried to do, but they saw into his heart and saw that he loves children and this love allowed the transformation of villages after villages.

I saw this only on a small scale with my experience in Mexico, but the principles are the same and hopefully the results too. I have long since left St. Jude's Parish, but their love and commitment has continued to support the sister parish in Tijuana. It has allowed them to change the lives of thousands over the past 15 years. The same thing exists for me in Africa where I am still in relationship with those I met in Rwanda and tried to connect with Bishop Kelly High School. I still have hope that I will be able to support them, if nothing else through my solidarity with them. My parents parish in Meridian, Holy Trinity has created a beautiful relationship with the cathedral parish in Kigali, Rwanda. They pray for one another and support as they are able, but the relationship is real and it brings hope for the future.

These places of poverty and struggle don't need us to fix their world for them. They don't need us to come in and "make it better". They need relationship to know they are not alone....that someone sees them and if possible, together to build something that lasts for the betterment of the world. This has been my experience. I remember talking to the young people of an orphanage in a rural area of Rwanda. I asked them what they wanted to say to American children. To my shock they said, basically...relationship...that we exist that we are here and we want to write to them, to have contact with them. They didn't ask for anything. Not one thing, but relationship. That is where I got the penpal idea that we did for the two years I was at BK. Writing letters is something that we CAN do. It beats dropping bombs.

Also, as we see the world cup in Africa, we see a lot of energy, pride, cheering, noise......why.....someone is noticing them. They exist and they exist not because we are sending aid or because there is a war or because they are so poor and are to be pitied, but because they were chosen to host the World Cup Soccer for 2010 and this is a honor for any country. For Africa it is an esteem boost to know that they are of value to be entrusted with something that the world loves and this is worth celebrating, dancing and being joyous. It is pride for the whole continent that has been the ugly stepsister of the world. They get our aid, our volunteers, but do we really see them?

Okay, so this isn't to be on a soapbox or anything. I just felt compelled to share about the book and my own experience. As I now live in a country with extreme poverty in places, it is easy to ignore the reality or to feel sorry or.....just to love, as a human loves and to treat people with respect.....I SEE YOU....YOU EXIST.