Freedom

So, the other thing about living outside your native country is that you get perspective on things about yourself and your country that you can't see when you live there.

One of these that has been really clear to me lately is freedom.

The USA experiment of governance and our concept of freedom is definitely something I have taken for granted. I mean it's not a perfect system and there are plenty of abuses and misuses, but it is nothing like other parts of the world.

For example, I take for granted that I can visit just about any country I want, when I want. (I was denied entrance to Pakistan in 2004, but I'm okay with that). So, the idea that the world is open for adventure and exploration and there are no limits.

People also have the idea that if you're married to a US citizen that you have the same rights. Not so my friends, not so. Because there are so many people living in the US who are not there legally, anyone from these countries (like those in Latin America) is suspect. It's like being guilty until proven innocent. For people who live in countries, like Peru, the USA is a land of opportunity. It gives hope and inspiration. They think that our products are better, our lives are better and of course the money is better. As far as the money goes, this is true. One would be shocked to find out what the average Peruvian lives on. People here work very hard, my husband included. They work 6 days a week and many 12 hours or more a day and for very little. You have to come from money to get money. There isn't the same opportunity for self advancement. It doesn't really matter how smart you are or how ambitious you are, if you don't come from wealth it's difficult to advance in the society. So working for minimum wage in the US seems worth it.

Anyway, back to liberty. It has become very personal to me recently. In Oct 2008, Richard and I wanted to visit the US during his vacation. We went to get a visa and because we told the truth and were engaged at the time.......he was denied. (there is another fiance visa process that takes 9 months). We both took it really hard, but he especially. It's like being labeled a theif, a liar, a terrorist when you've done nothing wrong. We simply wanted to visit the US for a few weeks. That's it, but it was impossible. DENIED. It was a 5 minute interview. done.

I will never really know what that feeling is like. Not to visit your in-laws or another country, just because of where you were born. No fault of your own. Just NO. You are not free to enter our country. I mean if you're an ambassador's child, okay.

So all of our plans and hopes for the trip were dashed. Richard loves Peru. He is proud of being Peruvian. He doesn't see the grass as greener. He is happy with his life and he's not going to beg to go to the US, but it stung. So, now he is in the position to do it all over again next week. On Monday at 10am he has another interview for a visa. Yes, we are married this time and we own property here, but really that has little to secure a visa. It all has to do with who interviews him and how they feel about him at the time. So we are both much more cautious this time. No hopes are high. We are much more sober and it really is painful for me.

I come from this country. I am completely helpless in this situation. There is nothing I can do to help him. I'm not allowed inside. He has to go alone to the interview. Again, another thing that I have no control over. I can't work any magic and charm anyone. I can't be convincing. I just have to let it be. Control is elusive at best. The spiritual practice of the moment, of being open and not holding on too tight. It is still hard for me. I usually get what I want in life and that is just not how life works here. It is so hard for me to understand. It can be so subtle at times, but unmistakably, it exists. There is a difference in freedom in the world and it has a lot of reprecussions on one's mentality and view of the world. So.......to be continued.