We are Moving

So, I this will be out of sequence with our trip, but our lives keep changing minute by minute. It is funny in a twisted way. I try to live a simpler, calmer life and yet my life finds its own ways to grow and be challenged.

As I think I mentioned before, the week we were in Lima Richard had to go back south for an job promotion interview. He has been in the same position in the same agency (La Caja Municipal Arequipa) for going on 6 years and he's wanted a job promotion for a while and the opportunity suddenly presented itself...while we are on vacation. He was chosen as a finalist and had to return for the interview. Then we took off on our USA adventure and waited. The last week we were in Boise he got the email that he had been chosen for the promotion, and suprise......he was also reassigned to a new agency....in Tacna.

So, we he had a week in Ilo before having to report to this new agency in Tacna where it was finally confirmed that it was indeed a permanent assignment and we would have to move. He had a going away party with his friends and got things in order and went to visit the agency to see where it is etc. (it's in a not so great part of town unfortunately) Those weeks between finding out about the promotion and waiting to see if we were moving or not were really frustrating for me. Just when I think I've learned patience and to let things unfold in their own time, I am given a new opportunity to prove it. I mean moving?? You have to be kidding. Here I am 6 months pregnant and focused on all the changes that is going to mean, and now I have to consider a move to a new city......thanks!

However, it was good to have the time to think it through a little. It might come as a surprise to some, but I don't handle change well. At least change that comes as a surprise and suddenly. I prefer planned change....haha. That's a good one isn't it. Who doesn't? It is always difficult for me to change on a dime. I like to have time to think it through, make preparations. This move came as a complete surprise to me. I wasn't really thinking about moving to Tacna, at all. Every time it came up I thwarted the idea. I had my heart set on moving to Arequipa or at least working toward that direction (which we still are I guess). If it wasn't Arequipa then I preferred to stay in Ilo where we have family and everything is familiar. Tacna has never been of any interest to me.

It has really taken me the past week to work through all my thoughts and feelings about all this. Moving out of choice is one thing, but I haven't HAD to move since I was 12 when my family moved from Twin Falls to Boise. So, the lack of choice I think has something to do with my openness to it all. (I know, it could be worse). Really, it's not just the idea of living in Tacna but leaving Ilo and all that moving means. The main issue is that it has taken me 2 years to feel a part of life in Ilo. Everything here is about relationships, which of course take time to cultivate. Because I have no real friends here in Ilo the people who I see in my daily life fill an important gap. The women at the Serpost (postoffice) have been a huge help to me and call me when I have mail. I have the kind women I buy my fruit from and always give me something extra. My spa Petalos where I get pedicures (for $7) and such and beauty shop talk always happens. I have the lady who works at the gym/dance center who is so sweet and always chats with me and encourages me. The list goes on and on of kind people who make my life easier and better here. Ilo is small and quaint and has it's limits, but it's mine. I like that I walk to the market on Saturday and walk along the boardwalk. I like when we get a cremolada to eat on the pier where we first kissed. Living near the center of town is great. I can walk anywhere and know where to go to get what I need (mostly).

I guess what I am saying is that it has taken me two years to feel somewhat at home here and security is everything. Living in a foreign country has its stresses. It feels like new shoes, a little stiff and you feel them on your feet with every step and sometimes they give you blisters when you first wear them. It's not my language. It's not my cultural system. I'm always the outsider. Nuances of a different culture take time to learn, lots of time. So, I guess I'm just now feeling somewhat comfortable...and now I have to leave and do it all over again....in a bigger city. (I have to find a new everything and without family close by.)

Also, whenever you leave a place you think about the things that you're losing. We won't be near family for quick visits and Sunday lunches, birthday parties and inviting Alessandra for the afternoon and all the spontaneous things that happen when you live closeby, or all the great help/support that they provide for all sorts of things. We will be on our own. I won't have my great view of the ocean or the boardwalk which I love. The weather is a little more extreme (colder/hotter) in Tacna. It's a bigger city and a hugely commerical center. It's the last city in the south and is a duty free zone. So there is tons of business there. It's 45 minutes from the border with Chile so lots of chileans come to buy things there since the exchange is in their favor. It feels hustle and bustle. Which is good for a micro-finance bank (which is what Richard works for) but.....we'll see how it is to live there.

It feels like an outpost town to me. A dusty, busy town with even crazier taxi drivers and bustling commerce (not my thing). I don't know how else to explain it. However, I have never lived there. We just go there to use the airport or to buy big ticket items. So......of course I am grieving and letting go and making room for the positive and possibility, it just has to run its course. God always pushes us deeper. To really trust, to let go.....further, deeper, more profoundly, more confusing, less sure. We don't ever arrive. There is no platform to disembark. We know this subconsciously or maybe consciously, but somehow it remains elusive. I can grasp the idea that my life is a journey, an adventure, a series of now moments, but it too, like a new shoes, always feels a little uncomfortable. They never get worn in completely. So it is again. Letting go of what was once foreign and is now the closest I have to security to embrace the unknown and the new.

I know logically that it will be fine, even great. It will, as usual, just take time, probably two more years and then we'll probably have another change. Change is the one constant. I know this and yet I still try to pretend it is not so. Anyway, these are my current thoughts on the subject.

I will end with the positive things to think about moving. We will live where there is an airport. We will have cheaper prices for food and other goods (housing is a bit more). We have good friends there and they have babies or young children (under 2). There are more concerts and I think better restaurant options. I'm told the clinic/hospital options are better. (This is also a big issue...the baby will not be an ilenean but a tacnean!) Anyway, we can go to Arica, Chile for a change of pace. and maybe the one thing that actually interests me is that the JVI (jesuit volunteer international) house is there. I am excited about the possibilities this will bring. I'd love to do something ministry related and this might be a great opportunity to work with or at least make friends with them! Also a blessing is that it is before the baby and not after. That would add a whole other difficult dimension. So all things considered it's not terrible timing....

So, yea.....working my way through the issues. The first order of business is finding a place to live. Richard started on Monday March 15th. I am going to take advantage of the hotel the company is paying for this week and do the house/apt hunting myself. I am a little intimidated, but a good way to learn the areas and the town (other than just the downtown which is all I know now). So, hopefully I will find the right place for the right price in the next 3 days. That will give me 2 weeks to pack and get things in order and hopefully we can move during Holy Week. I think that's fitting...dying.....rising....new life....change...suffering. Anyway, one step at a time. Everything in its time. Happy St. Patrick's Day......to anyone who cares, cause no one here does.